A Testimony

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O Lord, when I am bewildered and the world is all noise and confusion around me and I don’t know which way to go and am frightened, then be thou with me. Put thy hand on my should and let thy strength invade my weakness and thy light burn the mist from my mind. Help me to step forward with faith in the way I should go.

So, there I was sitting in the middle of the living room, alone in the middle of the night.  I had about forty hours until surgery…They had diagnosed me with a Chairi malformation. I had never heard of it before, but if it was the culprit that was ravaging my body, then I would do anything to fix it.  My problem was that I didn’t think I could make it another 40 hours.  I had lived with this issue for years and managed to keep it under control, but a fall on the ice in January had made the problem much much worse. 

It had begun to affect everything…my sleep, my energy, it became hard to eat and I constantly felt electric shocks radiating through my ear.  More importantly, it was affecting the people I love…my wife, my children, the church and even my relationship with God. 

The hope was that the surgery would fix everything. But I didn’t think I could make it that long.  For the first time in my life I looked out into the woods and though that it might be best  for everybody if I disappeared and never came back.

It hadn’t been the first time God-followers had that thought, no matter how fleeting.  Elijah had the entire country talking about him.   The day before he had staged a contest between him and his God and the 450 prophets of Baal.  He won…Baal was nowhere to be found and God came through in a literal fiery way.  Then, Elijah had the prophets of Baal killed.

On the biggest stage in the country, Elijah prevailed…he had a great day.  But then something happened.  Jezebel, the queen, sent word to Elijah that she had a contract out on his life and he would be dead in 24 hours.  And something happened to Elijah when he heard the news…something strange happened to this prophet of God…this forerunner of the messiah who pushed and pushed boundaries like prophets do…he got scared….he feared for his life.  You would think he would have been scared the day before when the entire country was watching his battle against 450 prophets of Baal…but he didn’t…he got scared when he heard the defeated queen had put a contract out on his life.  And he ran.

The greatest prophet of God since Moses…and the greatest prophet of God until Christ ran.  Just took off into the wilderness and fell down under a broom tree and waited to die.

After Moses risked his life to free the Israelites from Egypt, they all began grumbling and whining against him for some meat. This bothered Moses so badly that he said to God:Where can I get meat for all these people? They keep wailing to me, ‘Give us meat to eat!’I cannot carry all these people by myself; the burden is too heavy for me. If this is how you intend to treat me, just go ahead and kill me. Do me a favor and spare me this misery!”

In the book of Job, we see that after Job is stripped of his health, family, and wealth– he laments and curses the day he was born: Why died I not from the womb? why did I not give up the ghost when I came out of the belly?

–Job 3:11

After the Ninevites were saved by Jonah’s preaching, he was so angry he told God to kill him. I have been in the ministry a long time and I have seen a lot of people, hundreds, who loved God passionately but didn’t want to go on.  And I always used to pity them.  After my visits with them I would shake my head, say a prayer for them and ask God to heal them.  But I could never shake this feeling I had inside me that if they just trusted in the Lord enough they wouldn’t think that.  One of the many things this illness has taught me is not to be so quick to judge or shake my head or come up with a one line remedy that would make believers feel differently about their lot.  If these great prophets of God begged God to kill them, well then us ordinary followers are subject to the same pain life throws our way.

But God always seems to find a way to set us back on course…the God of life is always showing us life from a different perspective.  He sent angels to pastor Elijah, he spoke to Job himself, and he sent a big fish to save Jonah.  And he sent his son, the resurrection and the life to save us.

In the middle of the night, forty hours before my brain surgery, my mind was a flood with people who I have sat with that had it much worse off than I did…the mourners who lost a spouse or a child…the depressed who couldn't seem to crawl out of the deep dark hole they were in…and I realized that God didn’t send a fish to knock some sense into me or angels to feed me…he sent my family to love me and my church to be my angles,  It is a odd thing when congregations pastor their pastor, but you did…with your cards, letters and calls you cradled me, you wrapped the love of God around me.

And that is what god me through the next forty hours before surgery…hearing Grant pray for me, feeling Lucy hug me and whisper that she loves me, feeling my strong Mary holding me up.

 I am a type A person, I always want to push through no matter how I feel…my body is just wired that way…keep going…."the woods are lovely dark and deep but I have miles to go before I sleep."   

This experience has reminded me of the ancient practice of T’shuvah.  In the old testament, God commanded that every seven years the people should let the land rest…every seven years the people needed a break and so did the land…the harder they pushed the land the less it would produce every year.  The problem was that the Hebrews didn’t do that,,,they never let the land rest…and look what happened…famine, drought, war and eventual destruction.  I think that was happening to me…I didn’t practice T’shuva and things got bad. We need to rest…to enjoy life and let the crops of our heart rejuvenate.

Revelation is a difficult book, even for biblical scholars.  Most think that once we are in heaven God will wipe every tear from our eyes and there will be no more pain.  But it didn’t work that way for me. My pain, emotional/physical and spiritual were taken away in the hear and now.

In life we are constantly moving back and forth in time, back and forth between what was and what is and what might be. But the writer of Revelation never let's you get stuck in just one time zone, saying: "And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, 'See, the home of God is among mortals.'" In other words, God's right here in the middle of ordinary life, no matter where you are. And if we let him, he is wiping tears from our eyes and relieving us from pain.  I wonder if right here right now…That Jesus, making good on his promise, “Behold, I am making all things new.”  Now, wouldn’t that be something?

I suppose everybody goes through this at some point in their lives, but during my ordeal, it was hard for to put  myself and my family in God’s hands…but next time let the words of my mouth and the cry of my  heart  be that of Chist on the cross, “Lord in your  hands I commit  my spirit.’  Into  your  hands I commit  my life, my families life…and the  life of  the  world.”

God is a Woman and She is Growing Older.

I came across this wonderful sermon the other day written by Rabbi Margaret Wenig and I was deeply moved.  I am not interested in debating the feminine or masculine identity of God, except to say that it is altogether clear that God is both and neither...at least that is what Scripture seems to teach.  Instead, I hope the words below will stir your heart to visit your Lord today.

“God is a Woman and She is Growing Older”

by Rabbi Maggie Wenig

God is a woman and she is growing older. She moves more slowly now. She cannot stand erect. Her face is lined. Her voice is scratchy. Sometimes she has to strain to hear. God is a woman and she is growing older; yet, she remembers everything.

On Rosh Hashanah, the anniversary of the day on which she gave us birth, God sits down at her kitchen table, opens the Book of Memories, and begins turning the pages; and God remembers.
“There, there is the world when it was new and my children when they were young.” As she turns each page she smiles, seeing before her, like so many dolls in a department store window, all the beautiful colors of our skin, all the varied shapes and sizes of our bodies. She marvels at our accomplishments: the music we have written, the gardens we have planted, the stories we have told, the ideas we have spun.

“They now can fly faster than the winds I send,” she says to herself, “and they sail across the waters which I gathered into seas. They even visit the moon which I set in the sky. But they rarely visit me.” There pasted into the pages of her book are all the cards we have ever sent to her when we did not bother to visit. She notices our signatures³ scrawled beneath the printed words someone else has composed.

Then there are the pages she would rather skip. Things she wishes she could forget. But they stare her in the face and she cannot help but remember: her children spoiling the home she created for us, brothers putting each other in chains. She remembers seeing us racing down dangerous roads—herself unable to stop us. She remembers the dreams she had for us—dreams we never fulfilled. And she remembers the names, so many names, inscribed in the book, names of all the children she has lost through war and famine, earthquake and accident, disease and suicide. And God remembers the many times she sat by a bedside weeping that she could not halt the process she herself set into motion. On Yom Kippur, God lights candles, one for each of her children, millions of candles lighting up the night making it bright as day. God stays awake all night turning the pages of her book.
God is lonely, longing for her children, her playful ones. All that dwells on earth does perish. But God endures, so she suffers the sadness of loosing all that she holds dear.

God is home, turning the pages of her book. “Come home,” she wants to say to us, “Come home.” But she won’t call. For she is afraid that we will say, “No.” She can anticipate the conversation: “We are so busy. We’d love to see you but we just can’t come. Too much to do.”

Even if we don’t realize it, God knows that our business is just an excuse. She knows that we avoid returning to her because we don’t want to look into her age-worn face. It is hard for us to face a god who disappointed our childhood expectations: She did not give us everything we wanted. She did not make us triumphant in battle, successful in business and invincible to pain. We avoid going home to protect ourselves from our disappointment and to protect her. We don’t want her to see the disappointment in our eyes. Yet, God knows that it is there and she would have us come home anyway.

What if we did? What if we did go home and visit God? What might it be like?

God would usher us into her kitchen, seat us at her table and pour two cups of tea. She has been alone so long that there is much she wants to say. But we barely allow her to get a word in edgewise, for we are afraid of what she might say and we are afraid of silence. So we fill an hour with our chatter, words, words, so many words. Until, finally, she touches her finger to her lips and says, “Shh. Sha. Be still.”

Then she pushes back her chair and says, “Let me have a good look at you.” And she looks. And in a single glance, God sees us as both newly born and dying: coughing and crying and laughing and dancing, as a young child afraid of the road ahead and as an old person looking back wondering where the years went.

In a single glance she sees our birth and our death and all the years in between. She sees us as we were when we were young: when we idolized her and trustingly followed her anywhere¹²; when our scrapes and bruises healed quickly, when we were filled with wonder at all things new. She sees us when we were young, when we thought that there was nothing we could not do.

She sees our middle years too: when our energy was unlimited. When we kept house, cooked and cleaned, cared for children, worked, and volunteered—when everyone needed us and we had no time for sleep.

And God sees us in our later years: when we no longer felt so needed; when chaos disrupted the bodily rhythms we had learned to rely upon. She sees us sleeping alone in a room which once slept two.

God sees things about us we have forgotten and things we do not yet know. For naught is hidden from God’s sight.

When she is finished looking at us, God might say, “So tell me, how are you?” Now we are afraid to open our mouths and tell her everything she already knows¹⁴: whom we love; where we hurt; what we have broken or lost; what we wanted to be when we grew up.

So we change the subject. “Remember the time when… ”

“Yes, I remember,” she says. Suddenly we are both talking at the same time; saying all the things the greeting cards never said:

“I’m sorry that I…”

“That’s alright, I forgive you.”

“I didn’t mean to…”

“I know that. I do.”

We look away. “I never felt I could live up to your expectations.”

“I always believed you could do anything,” she answers.

“What about your future?,” she asks us. We do not want to face our future. God hears our reluctance,
and she understands.

We are growing older as God is growing older. How much like her we have become.

God holds our face in her two hands and whispers, “Do not be afraid, I will be faithful to the promise I made to you when you were young. I will be with you. Even to your old age I will be with you. When you are grey headed still I will hold you. I gave birth to you, I carried you. I will hold you still.
Grow old along with me….”

Our fear of the future is tempered now by curiosity. The universe is infinite. Unlimited possibilities are arrayed before us still. We can awaken each morning to wonder: What shall I learn today? What can I create today? What will I notice that I have never seen before?

It has been a good visit. Before we leave, it is our turn to take a good look at God. The face which time has marked looks not frail to us now—but wise. For we understand that God knows those things only the passage of time can teach: that one can survive the loss of a love; that one can feel secure even in the midst of an ever changing world; that there is dignity in being alive even when every bone aches. God’s movements seem not slow to us—but strong and intent, unlike our own. For we are too busy to see beneath the surface. We speak too rapidly to truly listen, and we move too quickly to feel what we touch. We form opinions too fast to judge honestly. While God, God moves slowly and with intention. God sees everything there is to see, understands everything God hears, and touches all that lives.

Ahh, that is why we were created to grow older: each added day of life, each new year make us more like God who is ever growing older.

How often do we sit in the house of prayer holding in our hands pages of greeting cards bound together into a prayer book, hundreds of words we ourselves have not written. Will we merely place our signatures at the bottom and drop the cards – the prayer book – in the mail?

God would prefer that we come home. She is waiting for us, ever patiently until we are ready. God will not sleep. She will leave the door open and the candles burning waiting patiently for us to come home.

Perhaps one day…perhaps one day we will be able to look into God’s aging face and say, “Avinu Malkeinu, our Parent, our Ruler, we have come home.”

What is Taize? And what does it mean to me?

Guest post written by Mary:

I sometimes feel like I have 3 strikes against me when I attend a Sunday morning worship service.  Strike one: I’m married to the preacher.  This means that it is a perpetual challenge to hear the sermon without filtering through many complex lenses.  Each Sunday, I have to seek to hear the message that God wants me to hear through fresh ears.  Strike two: I have 2 small children with me in worship each week.  One child is really self-sufficient and good at sitting still.  The other, not so much.  So, while other people are able give their full attention to the service and ‘be still’ before God, I often find myself shushing my 4 year old, shuffling papers, and trying to put out sibling squabbles in the pew, oblivious to the elements of worship taking place.  Strike 3: Not only do I have small children with me in worship, but I am the only one available to parent them (see Strike #1), so again, it’s easy for me to get distracted. Thankfully, God is bigger than my distractions and he is gracious enough to meet me in this season of life on Sunday mornings.

However, there is another sacred place where I’ve found a strike-free worship zone.  Our church, McLean Baptist, offers a Taize Prayer Service the first Wednesday of each month.  (Bonus: MBC also offers an amazing dinner catered by Sweet Leaf for just $6 a plate and childcare on Wednesday nights as well.)  When I first arrived at MBC, I had heard the word ‘Taize’ before, but I didn’t know how to pronounce it or what it meant.  I’ve since learned that you’ll hear it called TAY-ZAY most often.  

What does a typical service look like?  We gather in the church parlor, the lights are a little dimmed, the piano is being played.  You immediately sense a quiet and reflective mood.  Chairs are in rows and at the front is a candle-lit table, sometimes prepared for communion.  Each attendee gets a worship folder.  We begin with simple songs, singing a specific phrase or chorus through several times.  Through the repetition of the words, I become centered and the words become the prayer of my heart.   Scripture is spoken.  More simple songs are sung.  Then we enter into 10-12 minutes of silence.  Sometimes, the time seems long, the silence is loud and I find my thoughts distracted and scattered.  Other times, the Holy Spirit meets me head-on in the silence, ministers to me, and I’m moved to tears by the overwhelming presence of God.  Most times, those 10-12 minutes are the only silence I’ve experienced all week.  The silence is a discipline, but one that is inviting to me.  After the silence we have a few minutes of extemporaneous prayer.  Anyone who wants to pray can offer up a few words.  People may pray for a friend or family member who is hurting.  Someone may voice thanksgiving for a blessing.  One might voice a pray for another part of the world that needs God’s intervention or touch.  After a brief time of extemporaneous prayer, we sing another song to close the service.  The entire service is about 40-45 minutes.  The elements may change slightly in order or amount, but always consist of simple songs, scripture reading, silence, prayer, and sometimes the Lord’s supper.

For me, it’s a worshipful experience that I appreciate so much because I can be fully present.  The stillness and quiet is nourishing to me, as it offers a sacred space to simply rest in the presence of God.

Life is so busy.  And in this area of the country, people move and work at an astonishing pace.  A Taize service can be a place of refuge; offering rest, healing, and renewal.  I encourage you to give it a try, and what better time to try a service than during Advent?  I hope to see you there this Wednesday, December 3.  Come early for dinner at 5:45, or come to the parlor at 6:30 for the service.

Continuing the Journey

It has been six months since I began my journey with McLean Baptist Church and I could not have dreamed that I would feel so connected to a congregation than I do with this wonderful body of believers. 

"This church is a lot different than our other church."  Grant, my seven year old son whispered this to me as we were walking into the narthex of McLean Baptist Church for the first time as a family last March. 

I remarked back to him, "I know!  It is a little scary hu?  What is the biggest difference that you have noticed?"  Grant took my hand and thought as we continued walking, "I don't know where anything is...this church is like a maze."

Of course, Grant was right -- more theoretically than practically (although I still haven't mastered the layout of the building and I get lost on campus at least once a week) -- this place has been a maze.  It is a maze of family and friends....of ministry and missions...a history of shared joy and tragedy...of kingdom triumph and sometimes disappointing failure...a maze of love and mercy...of grace offered and grace received.

My six month plan was dedicated to "figuring out the maze" that makes up McLean Baptist Church...and while I know I have much more "maze navigating" to do, I feel so blessed to be partner in this maze with this church.

Upon my arrival, the church and I wrote a covenant that we conscecrated during my installation service.  We took the exercise very seriously and we spent a lot of time developing the exact words that matched our specific desire and vision for our journey together.  I often look at the covenent to keep the commitment and promise I made fresh in my heart and mind.  I think it would be appropriate to share a part of that document here, if only for you to begin to understand the profound and meaningful relationship I share with my church family:

Dr. Upton:  People of McLean Baptist Church, do you affirm your call to Dr. Brad Herridge as your pastor?

Congregation:  Today we affirm our call to Dr. Brad Herridge, asking him to exercise the gifts God has given him in his ministry at McLean Baptist Church.  We have hoped, prayed and worked for this day.  We thank you, God, that you have led us by your spirit.

Dr. Upton:  Do you pledge lovingly to support and care for Dr. Herridge and his family in the ministry of this church, ever keeping them in your prayers?

Congregation:  We pledge our love, our support and our prayers for Dr. Herridge and his family.

Dr. Upton:  Dr. Herridge, believing this to be in accordance with God's will, do you accept the call of this congregation to be its pastor, offering your love, support, comfort and pastoral care to all in need?

Pastor Brad Herridge:  I do.

Dr. Upton:  Having accepted this call, do you promise to execute your charge, leading this congregation in the study of the Holy Scriptures and encouraging them to have limitless vision and fresh faith?  Will you preach the Good News of Jesus Christ as recorded in Scripture, encouraging your people to study, cherish, and seek to follow the teachings and example of Jesus Christ?

Pastor Herridge:  I do, and I will.

Dr. Upton:  Will you endeavor to instill in the people of McLean Baptist Church a view of faith and commitment that embraces their need to be involved in Mission that advances the work of God's kingdom and reaches out to a needy world?

Pastor Herridge:  I will.

Bob Wallace:  Dr. Herridge, we, as a Search Committee commissioned by this congregation, sought to be responsive to the Holy Spirit and the needs of McLean Baptist Church.  We celebrate that God led us to you and that the church affirmed our recommendation.  As you share your gifts with us and this community, we offer our sustaining help as partners and friends.

Raymond White:  Dr. Herridge, as your colleagues we celebrate your call to be pastor of this church.  We will join with you as a team of Christ’s servants, and with God's help, we will support you and this congregation in ways that will make your ministry here both fruitful and joyful. It is our prayer that you will experience the presence of Christ and the power of the Holy Spirit as you seek to be faithful to this call.

Shirley Bass:  Dr. Herridge, as we, the deacons of McLean Baptist, form a ministry team with you, we promise to support you in providing pastoral care to the members of the church.  We look forward to serving alongside you as we offer love and support for our congregants. 

Nancy Ross:  Dr. Herridge, as we use the gifts that God has given to this church through you and its members, we also pledge ourselves to work with you, sharing our own gifts to serve God’s church and to accomplish the mission that God has entrusted to us with you as our shepherd.

Sarah Hamrick:  Dr. Herridge, as we lead our children, youth, and adults in this church’s education programs, we will work together with you to help our church family grow closer to God, learn how to become better disciples of Christ, and seek to become the faces, hands, and feet of God in our community.

Ingrid Bowers:  Dr. Herridge, we promise to support your ministry with our music.  We pledge to offer our best efforts as we seek to inspire our congregation and bring glory to God.

Stan Skocki: Dr. Herridge, as we seek to live as Jesus did by serving others through missions in our community, nation, and the world, we look forward to working with you, praying with you, and listening and responding to God’s call to help others.

Youth:  Dr. Herridge, we are the youth of McLean Baptist Church.  We look forward to getting to know you and your family and having you and your family get to know our families.  We’re excited about the future of our church and the memories we will make together.

Children:  Dr. Herridge, we are the children of our church family.  We would like you to be our friend, and we want to have fun with you and learn from you.

Congregation:  God has called us all to share in the joy of his kingdom through worship, prayer and fellowship.  We need the help and support of each other.  Although we each have different gifts, we join together to bear witness to the transforming power of God, believing that in Christ we are all one.  Today we celebrate that unity, that goal of building up God's church, that opportunity to be ambassadors of God's spirit in the world.  Dr. Herridge, we praise God that you have been called to this congregation.  We will strive to support the leadership you offer as we grow together in the family of Jesus Christ.

Pastor Herridge:  I have sensed a strong calling from God to minister in this place at this time.  I am grateful to God for leading me here, and I am grateful to the congregation for the kindness that has been shown to me.  I commit myself to serving as your pastor with humility and integrity.  I look forward to walking with you on our journey together, mourning with one another in our sorrows, celebrating with each other in our joys and growing together in favor with God.  It is with a happy spirit and a humble heart that I stand before you.  Let us together re-commit to offer ourselves to the Lord and to each other.  Let us offer our understandings and insights, so that we and others may be challenged and changed.  Our emotions and experiences, so that through honesty and openness we may find and give encouragement & comfort. Let us offer our skills and talents, so that in joyful recognition and sharing we can see the overflowing love God has for us. Let us celebrate and offer our common humanity, the very fabric of our lives, so that people can find the God of love here, the Creator God, who’s made us all unique, precious and loved.  Let us offer our very lives together so that the Lord can take them and spend them for the life of the world.  Amen.

Dr. Upton:  Having heard the promises made today, I charge you to work together, to pray together, to witness together and to play together, and may the love of Christ bind you together in fellowship with God.

Pastor Herridge and Congregation:  Hear our prayer, O Lord, as we now dedicate ourselves afresh to you and the work of the Gospel through this, your church.  Help us to become the people you want us to be and to do the things you want us to do.  In Jesus' name we pray.  Amen.

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When Goodbye Is Not Good Enough

A preface:  As I have done on two occasions, below is a blog post written by my wife.  As usual, she puts in words what we are feeling in our hearts.  There is only one thing I would add to her post -- I think we both share a sense of excitement for the future.  McLean Baptist Church is Spirit-filled and Kingdom driven...it is overflowing with laypeople who are dripping with God's love and grace and it has been led by amazing servants of God for generations.  With the above understanding, Mary's words:


The past few months have been full of goodbyes.  After 10 years of being at Bosqueville Baptist Church, Brad accepted a position at McLean Baptist Church in McLean, Virginia.  Because my default is to avoid emotional complexities, I’ve survived the last couple of weeks by staying busy, which hasn’t been difficult considering the lengthy to-do list associated with a cross-country move.  The truth is that goodbyes are the worst and it’s just too painful to allow myself to feel all of them. 

The decision process to accept the invitation to McLean was so complex and so simple all at the same time.  Over the last couple of years Brad and I have prayed that we would be open to God’s leading in our lives, regardless of the timing or the location.  And all along we would have been content if the answer had been: BBC is the location and forever is the timing.  But, something in our spirits seemed to be whispering that there was a different answer.  And when it came, it felt easy to make the decision, and hard too, because we knew that to embrace a new life and a new congregation meant to let go of the one that had held us for so long. 

So, the past month has been full of goodbyes and I’ve realized the gross inadequacy of human words.  Because thank you and goodbye have kept rolling off my lips and each time, they smack of insufficiency and yet when I think about how to express what I really feel, I struggle in vain to come up with words that are worthy.

Is this even close to saying thanks?

Thank you BBC, for accepting us, as our 25 year old selves and not looking back.  We knew so little, but you were so kind and your graciousness was a covering over us.  Thank you for giving us the freedom to be ourselves and to find a bit of ourselves, too. 

Thank you for teaching us through your lives and your love.   So many faith lessons…I’ve learned through single moms about sacrifice and courage.  I’ve learned through Sunday School and AWANA leaders about endurance, patience and gentleness.  The youth have taught me that faith is not a destination but a constant journey.  The children have modeled authenticity to me as I've heard their small voices rising unfiltered to God in prayer, week after week during worship services.  I’ve learned countless lessons from the wisdom of the older generation; they’ve modeled a life worth striving after; they’ve given me an answer to the question of who I want to be when I grow up.  I’ve learned from the daring about risky faith and the struggles and rewards that come from passionately pursuing a vision from God.  I’ve learned from the heartbroken about what resilience and hope look like.  I’ve watched people serve unnoticed but faithfully, year after year, at a specific task or ministry – and they’ve unknowingly taught me humility and selflessness.  The misfits, those on the fringe, they’ve taught me that we all have our own story with God, that faith has many different colors and dimensions, which add to its beauty.  So many faith lessons...

At the end of the day, even more, at the end of 10 years, how do you really say goodbye?  Goodbye simply isn’t good enough.  It simply comes up too short.  And besides, I want to boycott goodbye because it implies a finality that I don’t think I believe in.  I started thinking about Jesus – how did handle goodbyes?  And I started thinking about Paul – he worked with so many churches, so how did he handle farewells?  As I started reading, I realized they didn’t say goodbye.  Jesus simply told his followers to go and do, and Paul’s favorite method of closure wasn’t saying goodbye, it was giving a blessing, speaking grace and peace over his readers.  This gives me great comfort.  Because it’s true – as Christians we are knit together.  The Bible says that we are grafted together – we can’t be separated because we are literally tethered to one another by the spirit of God.  Proverbs says that, ‘as iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another’.  The people at BBC have sharpened me over the past 10 years, literally changed me and left their mark on me, so I’ll always carry them with me.  All of us now move forward, to encounter different people who will challenge us, teach us, shape us, sharpen us in a new way.  And those people yet to come will also leave their mark on us and us with them. 

Brad and I’s last words in our last worship service are how I want to close our chapter at BBC.  Not with thank you and goodbye.  Those words offer some meaning, but not enough.  And while the following words aren’t perfect either, they do express my dreams for the people that I love and will always hold dear and who will always be a part of me.  So, for you, my family at BBC:

May the love of God surround you;
May Jesus Christ always stand before you with an invitation to know him and to follow him;
May the Spirit give you wisdom and grace for the journey,
May God be with each and all of us until we meet again.
To Him be all the praise and all the glory, forever and ever.  Amen.

Favorite Quotes of 2013

Each day, before I begin the "daily grind" and after I center myself with my daily prayers, I read through a series of quotes from authors/theologians/spiritualists that I respect. I have affixed these quotes on my laptop.  Each year I change the quotes....but this past year the quotes have been so meaningful to me that I thought I would share them with you.  
I know this is not like my normal blog posts, but I am sure that you will be blessed by some of these and I pray the Holy Spirit will speak to you as you read through them:

"Security is not the avoidance of bad circumstances, but the presence of God in the midst of everything." Christina Gibson

"Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don't be afraid." Frederick Buechner

“One life on this earth is all that we get, whether it is enough or not enough, and the obvious conclusion would seem to be that at the very least we are fools if we do not live it as fully and bravely and beautifully as we can.” Frederick Buechner

“Compassion is sometimes the fatal capacity for feeling what it is like to live inside somebody else’s skin.  It is the knowledge that there can never really be any peace and joy for me until there is peace and joy finally for you too.” Frederick Buechner

"If things start happening, don't worry, don't stew, just go right along and you'll start happening too." Dr. Seuss

"Our life is full of brokenness - broken relationships, broken promises, broken expectations. How can we live with that brokenness without becoming bitter and resentful except by returning again and again to God's faithful presence in our lives." Henri Nouwen

"Turn around and believe that the good news that we are loved is better than we ever dared hope, and that to believe in that good news, to live out of it and toward it, to be in love with that good news, is of all glad things in this world the gladdest thing of all. Amen, and come Lord Jesus." Frederick Buechner

"Go where your best prayers take you." Frederick Buechner

"The real joy of life is in its play. Play is anything we do for the joy and love of doing it. It is the real living of life." Walter Rauschenbusch

"Joy is a mystery because it can happen anywhere, anytime, even under the most unpromising circumstances, even in the midst of suffering, with tears in its eyes...." Frederick Buechner

"When we learn to be inclusive, we can be a world of shalem, or wholeness, and create a world of shalom, which is peace." Rabbi Ted Riter

"Listen to your life. See it for the fathomless mystery it is. In the boredom and pain of it, no less than in the excitement and gladness: touch, taste, smell your way to the holy and hidden heart of it, because in the last analysis all moments are key moments, and life itself is grace." Frederick Buechner

"To be commanded to love God at all, let alone in the wilderness, is like being commanded to be well when we are sick, to sing for joy when we are dying of thirst, to run when our legs are broken. But this is the first and great commandment nonetheless. Even in the wilderness - especially in the wilderness - you shall love him."

"What we hunger for perhaps more than anything else is to be known in our full humanness, and yet that is often just what we also fear more than anything else. It is important to tell at least from time to time the secret of who we truly and fully are . . . because otherwise we run the risk of losing track of who we truly and fully are and little by little come to accept instead the highly edited version which we put forth in hope that the world will find it more acceptable than the real thing. It is important to tell our secrets too because it makes it easier . . . for other people to tell us a secret or two of their own . . . " Frederick Buechner

"Of the Seven Deadly Sins, anger is possibly the most fun. To lick your wounds, to smack your lips over grievances long past, to roll over your tongue the prospect of bitter confrontations still to come, to savor to the last toothsome morsel both the pain you are given and the pain you are giving back--in many ways it is a feast fit for a king. The chief drawback is that what you are wolfing down is yourself. The skeleton at the feast is you." Frederick Buechner

"The more I considered Christianity, the more I found that while it had established a rule and order, the chief aim of that order was to give room for good things to run wild." G.K. Chesterton

"You are accepted. You are accepted, accepted by that which is greater than you, and the name of which you do not know. Do not ask for the name now; perhaps you will find it later. Do not try to do anything now; perhaps later you will do much. Do not seek for anything; do not perform anything; do not intend anything. Simply accept the fact that you are accepted! If that happens to us, we experience grace." - Paul Tillich

  

"The grace of God means something like: Here is your life. You might never have been, but you are because the party wouldn't have been complete without you." Frederick Buechner

"Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly."  Gk Chesterson

“Sometimes we are too busy living a life to have a life worth living.” 

Julia Cameron

"For last year's words belong to last year's language
And next year's words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning." TS Elliot

"I have come to see the fundamental faith commitment of Christianity as something like: The most meaningful life is the life lived in sacrificial love.  I'll unpack this more in another essay, but for now let it suffice to say that Jesus' life and Jesus' teaching can be summed up in that simple statement.  We Christians, then, commit to a life of sacrificial love because we have faith that this truly is the best way to live.  Sacrificial love is God's way of relating to creation, and so we trust that it should be our way of relating to it as well.  When I claim to be a Christian, I'm claiming that sacrificial love will be the measure of my life." Wes Eades

"The essential presupposition of peacemaking as an activity among Christians is our common belief that we have been made part of a community in which people no longer regard their lives as their own. We are not permitted to harbor our grievances as “ours.” When we think our brother or sister has sinned against us, such an affront is not just against us but against the whole community. A community established as peaceful cannot afford to let us relish our sense of being wronged without exposing that wrong in the hopes of reconciliation. We must learn to see wrongs as “personal” because we are part of a community where the “personal” is crucial to the common good.
It is an unpleasant fact, however, that most of our lives are governed more by our hates and dislikes than by our loves. I seldom know what I really want, but I know what or whom I deeply dislike and even hate. It may be painful to be wronged, but at least such wrongs give me a history of resentments that, in fact, constitute who I am. How would I know who I am if I did not have my enemies?" – Haurawas

"The world is too dangerous for anything but truth and too small for anything but love."  – Coffin

 

"You can safely assume that you've created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do."  – Anne Lamont

 

"It is not enough to limit your love to your own nation, to your own race, to your own group. You must respond with love even to those outside of it, respond with love to those who hate you. This concept enables people to live together not as nations, but as the human race." Clarence Jordan

 

"Do not be too moral.  You may cheat yourself out of too much life.  Aim above morality.  Be not simply good; be good for something."  Henry David Thoreau

 

"God is not found in the soul by adding anything but by subtracting."  Meister Eckhart

 

"From the cowardice that dare not face new truth,

From the laziness that is contented with half truth,

From the arrogance that thinks it knows all truth,

Good Lord, deliver us SO THAT WE MIGHT WALK IN THE GOODNESS OF YOUR LOVE FOREVER AMEN."

 

 

 

 

Boston, West, and the Primrose Flower

A Preface: It is unbelievably hard for me to write about suffering and tragedy. I wanted so badly to blog about the awful Newton events, but I was too caught up in my own tears and emotion to post something remotely readable. I am no less emotional about the tragedy in Boston and West, Texas that occurred earlier in the week, but I feel a deep need to "write out" my thoughts before I lose them in the emotional black hole of heartfelt sadness. So, here is what my heart is telling me:

There are so many things to be said regarding the awful tragedy in Boston (and countless other terrible events that have afflicted the innocent in recent years..namely, the West, Texas explosion), and I am sure that theologians and others more educated than I will parse the deeper meaning in the days and months to come much better than this writer. But, even though I live and speak theology, I cannot seem to (or don't want to) apply theology to this tragedy...it is too real...too heart-wrenching. Instead, two thoughts have been whirling around in my heart: a quote from Frederick Buechner and a certain flower that I noticed a few weeks ago.

First, the flower:


A few weeks ago we were at Mary's ranch (it has become our Sabbath place -- we love escaping to its endless creek trails and quiet night breezes whenever we can). The weather was perfect, 68 degrees and sunny and the family had been playing outside all day long. Mary and I were exhausted from a full day of creek stomping and exploring. Around five thirty in the evening we settled into our chairs on the deck to watch the kids play on the swing set. I happened to glance towards the other side of the yard and to my surprise I saw an entire patch of beautiful yellow flowers blooming in the setting sun. Just ten minutes earlier, nothing was there except the grass...but in those few moments the lawn was transformed with Yellow Primrose flowers blooming for the night.

Even though I know about this wonderful flower that comes into its prime during the evening hours, every spring I am amazed all over again at the curious natural phenomenon. Mary and I were so taken by the flower patch that we took a few pictures:

A picture of the backyard at the ranch around 5:30 PM

A Picture of the same lawn minutes later.

Aren't they beautiful? The curious thing to me is that, unlike any other flower, these flowers bloom during the evening hours and last all night. They are at their strongest and most beautiful during the darkest part of the night. For some reason the darkness causes them to stand up straight and expose their true, beautiful, divine identity.


This past Monday in Boston, although it was middday, the scene could not have been any more dark with evil. Yet, in the midst of the darkness, light shone. The media has done a wonderful job of showing us how so many people held their divine light up against the seemingly overpowering darkness by rushing into the muck and mire (blooming, as it were) in an attempt to help, save, comfort, and assist the wounded.

We have been privileged to hear stories of such light...like the now famous "man in the cowboy hat" who we now know is Carlos Arredondo. Carlos was at the finish line handing out flags to the runners as they completed the race. He was there in honor of his son who had lost his life in the service of our country and his other son who committed suicide because he was unable to deal with his brother's death. Carlos was in deep depression for years over the loss of his sons, but like the primrose flower, the darkness called out the need for the light to arise in him, so he pulled himself together and was at the Boston Marathon handing out flags.

When the bombs went off, Carlos rushed into the crowd and quickly found a injured man whose legs had been ripped off by the bomb. He put him in a wheelchair, tied a tourniquet around his legs and sped him to safety.

We also heard of the many marathon runners who kept on running over two miles past the finish line to Mass General Hospital so they could give blood to those who were injured from the blast....and the countless volunteers, police officers, EMT's and firefighters who rushed to the scene while most were running away as fast as they could.

Stories are flooding in about people who shone bright against the dark smoke at the fertilizer plant explosion a short drive from Waco in West, Texas.

When I read these accounts I could not stop thinking about the primrose flower....and about scripture. "Light has shown in the darkness and the darkness shall not overcome it." I don't know why I am surprised whenever scripture proves itself true...but it did on Monday and Wednesday.

Just like on Good Friday...the darkness tried to overcome the Light of the world...but the light was too strong. So to, in a different but all together similar way, the darkness tried to overcome the streets of Boston (and, in doing so the heart of the world) but the light was just too strong.


Now, the quote:

On my computer I have a list of quotes from people I admire that I try to read daily...the quotes serve as a way to center my heart and spirit in preparation for the busy day that is always ahead. The very first quote in the document is from Frederich Buechner...I dedicated this short quote to memory long ago...mainly because it speaks to me in a deep and profound way...so much so that I used it in a speech I gave at my brother's wedding; "Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don't be afraid."

I don't know why this tragedy happened...or why God allowed this (or any other tragedy to happen) but I think I know partly why Buechner borrowed from so many scripture passages that tell us not to be afraid....I think it is because God wants us to know that, no matter what happens, the darkness will never, ever overcome the light...

In fact...the darkness might just cause the light to shine that much brighter, like a Yellow Primrose Flower.