The past few months have been full of goodbyes. After 10 years of being at Bosqueville Baptist Church, Brad accepted a position at McLean Baptist Church in McLean, Virginia. Because my default is to avoid emotional complexities, I’ve survived the last couple of weeks by staying busy, which hasn’t been difficult considering the lengthy to-do list associated with a cross-country move. The truth is that goodbyes are the worst and it’s just too painful to allow myself to feel all of them.
The decision process to accept the invitation to McLean was
so complex and so simple all at the same time.
Over the last couple of years Brad and I have prayed that we would be
open to God’s leading in our lives, regardless of the timing or the
location. And all along we would have
been content if the answer had been: BBC is the location and forever is the
timing. But, something in our spirits
seemed to be whispering that there was a different answer. And when it came, it felt easy to make the
decision, and hard too, because we knew that to embrace a new life and a new
congregation meant to let go of the one that had held us for so long.
So, the past month has been full of goodbyes and I’ve realized
the gross inadequacy of human words.
Because thank you and goodbye have kept rolling off my lips and each time,
they smack of insufficiency and yet when I think about how to express what I
really feel, I struggle in vain to come up with words that are worthy.
Is this even close to saying thanks?
Thank you BBC, for accepting us, as our 25 year old selves
and not looking back. We knew so little,
but you were so kind and your graciousness was a covering over us. Thank you for giving us the freedom to be
ourselves and to find a bit of ourselves, too.
Thank you for teaching us through your lives and your
love. So many faith lessons…I’ve
learned through single moms about sacrifice and courage. I’ve learned through Sunday School and AWANA
leaders about endurance, patience and gentleness. The youth have taught me that faith is not a
destination but a constant journey. The
children
have modeled authenticity to me as I've heard their small
voices rising unfiltered to God in prayer, week after week
during worship services.
I’ve learned countless lessons from the wisdom of the older generation; they’ve modeled a
life worth striving after; they’ve given me an answer to the question of who I
want to be when I grow up. I’ve learned
from the daring about risky faith and the struggles and rewards that come from
passionately pursuing a vision from God.
I’ve learned from the heartbroken about what resilience and hope look
like. I’ve watched people serve
unnoticed but faithfully, year after year, at a specific task or ministry – and
they’ve unknowingly taught me humility and selflessness. The misfits, those on the fringe, they’ve
taught me that we all have our own story with God, that faith has many
different colors and dimensions, which add to its beauty. So many faith lessons...
At the end of the day, even more, at the end of 10 years,
how do you really say goodbye? Goodbye
simply isn’t good enough. It simply
comes up too short. And besides, I want
to boycott goodbye because it implies a finality that I don’t think I believe
in. I started thinking about Jesus – how
did handle goodbyes? And I started
thinking about Paul – he worked with so many churches, so how did he handle
farewells? As I started reading, I
realized they didn’t say goodbye. Jesus
simply told his followers to go and do, and Paul’s favorite method of closure
wasn’t saying goodbye, it was giving a blessing, speaking grace and peace over
his readers. This gives me great
comfort. Because it’s true – as
Christians we are knit together. The
Bible says that we are grafted together – we can’t be separated because we are
literally tethered to one another by the spirit of God. Proverbs says that, ‘as iron sharpens iron,
so one man sharpens another’. The people
at BBC have sharpened me over the past 10 years, literally changed me and left
their mark on me, so I’ll always carry them with me. All of us now move forward, to encounter
different people who will challenge us, teach us, shape us, sharpen us in a new
way. And those people yet to come will
also leave their mark on us and us with them.
Brad and I’s last words in our last worship service are how
I want to close our chapter at BBC. Not
with thank you and goodbye. Those words
offer some meaning, but not enough. And
while the following words aren’t perfect either, they do express my dreams for
the people that I love and will always hold dear and who will always be a part of me. So, for you, my family at BBC:
May the love
of God surround you; May Jesus Christ always stand before you with an invitation to know him and to follow him;
May the Spirit give you wisdom and grace for the journey,
May God be with each and all of us until we meet again.
To Him be all the praise and all the glory, forever and ever. Amen.
